Not Lost In Translation...Just Plain Lost

I'll frame my adventure last night in terms of Diamonds and Coals. 

Diamonds: I took the precaution of taking a picture of the building so I could recognize "home."

Coals: There are several buildings in the vicinity that pretty much look the same so it wasn't as helpful as I had hoped.

Sorta not so helpful precautionary photo since there are several buildings that look the same to me

Diamonds: Unlike the US, the naming convention for addresses in Taipei is very rational and logical. 

Coals: Woulda been helpful to realize this before I ventured out on my own. I spent a good half hour wandering around my building totally disoriented and looking like I was casing the joint.

Diamonds: People were very friendly and helped point me in the right direction when I asked for directions or asked what they had on the menu.

Coal: People were very helpful AFTER they realized that I'm illiterate and that I wasn't just asking stupid obvious questions in Mandarin like "what do you sell to eat here." The answer is always "[no duh] we sell everything [read the freaking signs you idiot]." I'm learning to preface all my questions with, "I'm illiterate, please pity me, can you tell me what you sell to eat."

How did I get so lost? Turns out addresses in Taipei are organized in a hierarchy. Major street name, lane number, alley number, building number and then floor number. Key piece of information that would have been super helpful when I was wandering around aimlessly. Basically I walked around my neighborhood for a good half an hour running into streets with the same name. What the heck? It's like walking in four directions and finding every street sign (small and major) named "Mass Ave." The street signs were actually saying something like, "This is the 3rd lane and 45th alley south of Mass Ave," but I thought they all said Mass Ave in my confused state. I have to admit the system is pretty genius once you understand it, but super confusing if you don't know what's happening.

Finally, I gave up trying to orient myself using a paper map and pulled out the iPhone. I ended up walking toward Taipei 101 since it's the tallest skyscraper around and was in the direction of civilization or at least very good eats. Once I got going, I was able to find the major streets and figure out where the landmarks were, but the little residential alleys threw me for a giant loop on the way out and on the way back home.

Walked towards Taipei 101 like some sort of beacon...I figured they at least had food there and cabs if I got lost

I cobbled together a very random dinner mostly because I couldn't visually figure out what street stands were selling and I was concerned about getting swiped by a zooming moped. I did enjoy a red bean pancake, a pork filled pastry, some iced tea and a bowl of minced pork rice for a grand total of about $3. The biggest Diamond is [knock on wood], I think I got all of my "getting lost" out of my system yesterday and it's been smooth sailing today.

Barely figured out how to order a bowl of minced pork belly rice for dinner

Nearly got run over by mopeds at the local night market

It's a Hello Kitty World!

My first full in Taipei did not disappoint. Today, I discovered my favorite Hello Kitty at every turn. Had I gone hog wild, I could be carrying a Hello Kitty bag wearing Hello Kitty unmentionables eating a Hello Kitty donut from Mr. Donut and playing with a little Hello Kitty toy car. I elected NOT to photograph the Hello Kitty unmentionables since I like to keep this blog friendly for all audiences.

Mr. Donut Hello Kitty Donuts: Check out the little pink edible bow on the donuts

Tiny Hello Kitty Toy Car: I totally would have bought one if not for the enormous line

We also checked out the special toy car and train event on the sixth floor of the Mitsukoshi department store. The place was a complete zoo as MGDub's mom GJDubya would say. I'm pretty sure every single child in Taipei was crammed into this place. While I'm partial to Asian babies, not all Asian babies are cute. I wanted a little Hello Kitty car as a souvenir, but I wasn't willing to wade through the sea of kids whining "I want a toy car" in Chinese of course.

Toy train exhibit with all the landmarks of the world including the local fav Taipei 101

Check out his cool Car shoes

Personal space? What a novel concept. Total chaos with everyone is up in everyone else's business.

We escaped down to level B2 to check out the food hall. I was fascinated by these "native" Taiwanese tall watermelons among other finds. 

Tall mini watermelons..."red inside" they tell me

Refreshing Bear Beer not be confused with Beer Bear which would be a bear made of beer

An enviable display of crunchy snacks. Adam's gonna freak out when he arrives next week

Zave Zority, this one is for you. Even though I'm illiterate, I'm pretty sure this snack is super spicy. First off, the pepper looks pretty bad ass. Secondly, there are five peppers on the bottom right and all are filled in so this must be the spiciest snack they make.

Frozen rice burgers. I'm intrigued, but not intrigued enough to actually try it

 Refreshing sweet treat: Tofu pudding with red bean, peanuts and some sort of chewy jelly. It was delicious!

Giant Ice Cream Photo Collection

A friend once told me gathering three items is all it takes to start a "collection." With five photos [that I can remember] so far, I'm well on my way to building a photo collection of me standing next to giant frozen treats. The first photo is from 2007 when Adam and I went to Japan for a few weeks. Adam had to convince me to take this photo between two soft serve ice cream cones, but ever since then, I've been super enthusiastic about having my photo taken next to any and all giant frozen treats I encounter in my travels. It really hits my "sweet spot" of giant food / fake food / ice cream.

2013: Lavender Festival at Farm Tomita in Hokkaido, Japan

2013: Taipei outside the Godiva at the Breeze

2013: Nashville

2013: Nashville

2013: Seattle

2011: Barcelona

2007: Kyoto, Japan