Thursday, September 30, 2004

Flowers...yipee yeah yeah!

Zeah walked into my office with another long box this morning:

Zeah: Adam must be in a lot of trouble.
plasticann: He's not in trouble at all. I don't know what's going on.
Zeah: Adam must think he's in a lot of trouble.
plasticann: I don't think so.

My current collection of blooms courtesy of Adam include:
Snapdragons
"Cream" Roses
Yellow Roses

Note: Adam is NOT in trouble.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Real Food

I was still munching on my fries and slurping my orange drink when MGDub and I arrived for our meeting at Zlare's house. The following is a reconstructed conversation regarding my Happy Meal.

Zlare: Welcome, I'm glad you guys made it. Do you want anything to eat?
MGDub: I'll take some water, but I'm all set.
plasticann: I got chicken mcnuggets with my Happy Meal.
Zlare: Do you want an apple or some water?
plasticann: Nope, I've got my orange drink.
Zlare: Don't you want any "real" food?
plasticann: But this is real food.

I did end up eating an apple after Zlare cut it up in cool spirals.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Startac RIP

As my friends (MGDub & Steve) have defected from their Startacs in recent months, I've been getting a lot of flack for my "retro old school ancient" Startac. I argued, I love my Startac and it has a great "true" ring that isn't annoying. On Sunday, I spilled water on my phone when I absentmindedly placed an open water bottle in my bag. Even more embarrassing was my inability to function without the phone. MGDub laughed at me because I had to call her to get Adam's number. Last night I trekked over to the mall and picked up a new phone. I was resigned to rebuild my phonebook, but my Startac's screen magically turned back on yesterday, which enabled Verizon to transfer my phonebook over to the new phone.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Winner

On our way out after playing two games of Settlers of Catan with our friends Zerry and Zawrence...

plasticann: Honey, I'm sorry you didn't win tonight.
Adam: But I did win.
plasticann: That's right...you won the first game.
Adam: Actually I won both games tonight.
plasticann: Are you sure?

Friday, September 24, 2004

Too Much Information

Yesterday
Friend: Can I borrow your paper?
plasticann: Sure, what section.
Friend: [rifling through all of plasticann's favorite sections] I'm taking Personal Journal.
plasticann: [thinking friend needs paper to wrap something] Wait, what if I haven't read it. Why don't you take Marketplace.
Friend: [walks away with Personal Journal]
plasticann: Bring that by later, I might want to read it.
Friend: I'm going to the bathroom.
plasticann: Please don't bring it back.

Today
Friend walks by with paper in hand and plasticann thinks to herself...too much information.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

If you're hungry and you know it clap your hands...

Here's an awesome, but hugely aspirational list of 54 dishes to try in Boston.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Dust Sample

To properly illustrate her recent dusty experience with construction at work, plasticmom sent me a grimey dust sample sealed between pieces of clear packing tape. Other than disgustingly black and gritty, I unable to describe the sample. I can't decide whether I'm repulsed or amused...right now I'm leaning toward the latter.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Wimbledon

The following is a reconstructed conversation regarding Wimbledon:

Adam: We went and saw Wimbledon this afternoon. I enjoyed it.
Friend: Who's in it?
Adam: Kirsten Dunst and the main guy really looks like the guy from A Beautiful Mind...you know the imaginary friend.
plasticann: It's the same guy.
Adam: Well, there you have it!

Friday, September 17, 2004

Hapless, but it's uphill from here on out

Unfortunately, I'm encountering multiple mishaps today:
1. My fingers keep confusing the "G" and "T" keys and I keep spelling "conglomerate," "conglomerage."
2. I keep inadvertently shutting down my computer when I'm trying to open my CD tray. Like some sort of moth, I'm fatally drawn to the lighted on/off button.
3. I got a "transcript" today except it's a media file of this guy talking. Unfortunately I don't have speakers and I don't read lips.

Fortunately, I'm implemented some preventative measures and remedies:
1. I'm going to stretch my fingers more when typing...note that I've correctly spelled fingers and did not spell "finters."
2. I taped some cardboard over my on/off button.
3. I'm getting some speakers on Monday from the IT guy.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

The Mystery of the Missing Sherbet

Last week, I jaywalked over to our local Dunkin' Donuts/Baskin Robbins hybrid and picked up some vanilla ice cream and rainbow sherbet for happy half hour. Most people enjoyed the Coke floats with vanilla ice cream, but I was the only one who ventured over to the rainbow sherbet with my sparkling water sherbet concoction. Pondering our happy hour options, I checked on our frozen treat supply this afternoon. I was shocked and dismayed to discover an empty carton because I barely made a dent in the sherbet last week. I'm not sure who's been dipping into the sherbet at such an impressive rate, but I've eliminated four possible culprits...myself included. Since no one has openly flaunted their sherbet eating, I'm on a mission to weed out the sherbet enthusiast, if only to offer my congratulations.

Public Service Announcement: Not to be confused with sorbet, sherbet is not diary free.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Fever Pitch

This is a reconstructed conversation between plasticann and "friend."

Friend: Have you heard about that movie with Drew Barrymore and it's about the Red Sox?
plasticann: No...I don't think so.
Friend: It's based on a Nick Hornby book and it's called Fever Pitch. The book was about soccer, but the movie adapts the book for baseball. A pitch in soccer is the field, but I don't get why they called the movie Fever Pitch because the movie is about baseball.
plasticann: Well...don't they "pitch" the ball in baseball?
Friend: Why didn't I think of that? It's been really bothering me for days, but now it makes sense.
plasticann: I laugh at you. Ha ha ha. Just kidding.

Monday, September 13, 2004

"Zesty" Orange Cranberry Scones with Glaze

The Cranberry Orange scone I ordered last weekend was dry and chalky, but the winsome flavor combination inspired me to create a "zestier" version of my cranberry scones.

2 cups flour
1/4 cup sugar
1 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

1 stick chilled unsalted butter
2/3-3/4 cup milk

zest from 1 orange
1 cup dried cranberries

Mix together flour, sugar, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt in a bowl. Combine butter and flour mixture and blend by hand or with a mixer until mixture has a course crumbly texture. Mix in milk until mixture becomes doughy and holds together. Mix in the zest and dried cranberries. Just divide dough into even mounds onto a baking sheet and bake at 400 degrees F until tops start to turn light brown.

Orange Glaze:
Whisk together approx. 1/2 cup powdered sugar & a small amount of orange juice. Add orange juice until the glaze is the the consistency of half and half. (Not too liquid and not too thick.) Brush the tops of the cooled scones with the glaze.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Road Rage

Somebody very very bad gave plasticmom the finger while she was driving the other day. Although plasticmom did not know exactly what the finger communicated, she caught wind of the negative vibes so she turned into a parking lot to lay low and to let the angry driver pass. The following is a reconstructed conversation between plasticmom and plasticann.

plasticmom: I was wondering, what does it mean when someone sticks up their middle finger?
plasticann: Very bad...very rude...why?
plasticmom: I was driving the other day and someone got mad at me and stuck up their middle finger when they drove by me. I asked my boss what it meant, but he refused to explain and told me to ask my other boss so I figured I would ask you.
plasticann: That was mean. Well, it basically means "f*&% you." Sorry!
plasticmom: That's OK...I was just wondering. I'm just glad they didn't get out of their car and start yelling at me.

plasticmom, a prolific reader, has encountered the written "f*&% you," but not so much the verbal or the nonverbal version of the sentiment.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

Who You Callin' Pedestrian?

The following is a reconstructed conversation featuring Adam and Wine Enthusiast aka WE.

Adam: I really do enjoy Riesling.
WE: Well, once you've been drinking wine for a while, you'll start to appreciate the good stuff.
Adam: That's interesting. Ann's reading Richardson and according to him, "As sugar became a cheap, staple food through the nineteenth century and its luxury status was forgotten, sweet foods began to be associated with the poor more than the rich. Today, the medieval status of sugar as the food of kings and the aristocracy has been reversed: the poorest people eat the most sugar. Those who consider themselves to be individuals of taste and discernment assiduously avoid sugar in all but its most expensive and exclusive forms ('bitter' chocolate is desirable, since its sweetness is tempered and thus made sophisticated.) A taste for sweet is seen as infantile, old-fashioned or low-class: only the lowest of the low would favour a sweet German wine over a crisp dry sauvignon blanc."

Plasticann's post showdown analysis:
Score one for Bakun. I enjoy all things sweet including Riesling. I wonder how appalled the elites would be if I were to add some simple syrup to sweeten a glass of that "crisp dry sauvignon blanc." Next up...I'll become a proponent of Riesling in a box.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Sweet Potato Fries with Blue Cheese

After reading the review for the fries, I promptly e-mailed the link to Adam. The following is a reconstructed e-mail conversation between plasticann and Adam.

plasticann: Magnolia sweet potato strings...looks good.
Adam: Yummy!
plasticann: When can we go? I'm hungry for french fries.
Adam: How about next Friday?
plasticann: What about Thursday?

Good thing I've killed off enough of my taste buds that I now enjoy blue cheese because Adam's a bit of a fan of the stinky stuff...he's only met one cheese he didn't like.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Wrong Bathroom

I stopped by the restroom before leaving work last night and saw one of my male coworkers drying his hands with a paper towel. I initially greeted him with a friendly, "Hi *&%$#," but started stammering incoherently once I realized something was wrong. My thoughts, "why am I in the same bathroom as him, it says 'women' and it looks like the women's bathroom," were expressed inarticulately as "ahhh bathroom wrong bathroom sorry men's sorry ahhh" while I quickly backed out of the restroom. Turns out the men's room was being cleaned so he was using the women's restroom so I was in the right this time. Unfortunately my worst fears are not unfounded because I have repeatedly walk into the men's room by accident at Henrietta's Table and the CPK near Park Plaza.