Trouble...don't "really" even know how to get into it

I've realized over time that I lack a working knowledge of what "trouble" even means It's laughable as in laughing at me, but I'm OK with it. Funny/confusing conversations sometimes arise around what I think "trouble" means. It's a tossup whether I lack imagination or if I have an over active imagination when it comes to "trouble."

plasticann: [wearing a leather jacket] Adam, I'm going to make a quick CVS run, be right back.
Adam: Don't get into any trouble wearing that leather jacket.
plasticann: [earnestly] What kind of trouble? Like eat too much ice cream?
Adam: [slightly exasperated that his joke is falling flat due to to my misunderstanding] No, not too much ice cream...trouble like join a gang?
plasticann: [confused] Join a gang? In Davis Square?

Fortunately, Adam is also a giant square like me and I'm the biggest square of the family We've both committed to abstaining from the following activities just so we can really "lord it over" our nonexistent unborn children. We don't want to chance being called hypocrites...we want to legitimately be self righteous:

• Cigarettes
• Pot
• Piercings of any kind including earrings
• Tattoos

Which brings me to my favorite one...tattoos. Who doesn't have a tattoo? Practically half my friends have tattoos of and some of them are hardly demure. Pretty soon, the inked are going to outnumber the uninked. That's why I like say "F*$K the anti-establishment, I'm not getting a tattoo."Don't worry, I Adam totally admonished me when I jokingly said the uncensored version. He said, "sweetie pie, that's surprisingly rude." Yeah...I got in trouble.

Cilantro Pesto Panzanella (+7 leftover points)

Ever since my friends Zbigail and Zrian introduced me to "leftover points," I've been motivated to cook with things I already have. It's a bit of a challenge, but kinda fun. Basically, you get one point for every ingredient that you already have. Think half finished items in your fridge or pantry. Some veggies and fruit that are about to be too ripe and need consuming could count too. I didn't give myself points for garlic, seasonings and other staples because that felt like cheating.

Cilantro Lime Pesto (+4 points)

Big bunch of fresh cilantro (+1)
Grated Parmesan or grated Romano (+1)
Lime zest and lime juice (+1)
Almond meal (+1)
Garlic
Olive oil
Salt & Pepper

• Use food processor to blend the ingredients together into a pesto like paste. Season to taste and adjust ingredient ratios to taste

Panzanella (+3 points)

Cilantro lime pesto
Stale olive bread (+1)
Olive oil
Cucumber
Bell pepper
Avocado (+1)
Tomato (+1)

• Cube bread, toss in olive oil, bake in oven at 350 until crisp
• Chop up veggies
• Mix bread, veggies and pesto together, season to taste

16 pounds of Caramel Ice Cream...Check

2013 vintage

All 3 gallons or 16 pounds fit nicely in a tote bag

We've partied with a big tub of Caramel Apple Ice Cream from JP Licks going on five years so it's sorta becoming a bit of a tradition. Every September, Adam starts peeking into the JP Licks window in Davis Square to see if the "flavors of the month" include "Caramel Apple Ice Cream." It only comes once a year, typically in October. However, JP Licks has been known to release the flavors "early" so Adam checks it starting mid September just to be sure he doesn't miss out on the very narrow Caramel Apple Ice Cream season. Having confirmed it's release, I walked over to JP Licks this afternoon to secure our annual supply when the following reconstructed conversation occurred:

plasticann: Hi, I'd like to get a big tub of Caramel Apple.

Scooper: [pointing to the quart tubs] Oh you mean like a quart.

plasticann: [gesturing about 2 feet high] No, I mean like a giant tub.

Scooper: [incredulously] Like the "buckets" that we scoop from?

plasticann: Yes! A bucket of ice cream.

Scooper: Uhhh, I'm going to have to ask my manager. I'll be right back!

Manager: So you want a "bucket" of ice cream?

plasticann: Yup!

Manager: Do you KNOW how our buckets are?

plasticann: Yes!

Manager: Do you have a deep chest freezer with enough space to store the bucket?

plasticann: I cleared out plenty of room today.

Manager: Do you KNOW how much a bucket costs?

plasticann: [sheepishly] I do...I've actually bought a "bucket" every year for the last 5 years so I do know how big it is and how much it costs.

Manager: OK...I just have to make sure that you know what you're buying. I don't want you to be surprised when you get it home. Do you need help carrying it to your car? It's big!!!

plasticann: Just put it in this tote bag, I'm all set.

As I was leaving

Scooper: [whispers to the manager] How much does a bucket cost?

Manager: $XY dollars!

plasticann: [chiming in] It's actually very economical when you think about per quart.

Manager: [nodding] It is a very good deal.

There you have it! They don't let just anyone walk out with a bucket of ice cream. It's practically a controlled substance and they've probably added me to some sort of ice cream anonymous database at this point. From my perspective, it's just 16 pounds of ice cream and I'm confident that this year we'll be able to take down the bucket like we did last year. Join in this heroic endeavor and lookout for an email from Adam sometime soon.