Trouble...don't "really" even know how to get into it

I've realized over time that I lack a working knowledge of what "trouble" even means It's laughable as in laughing at me, but I'm OK with it. Funny/confusing conversations sometimes arise around what I think "trouble" means. It's a tossup whether I lack imagination or if I have an over active imagination when it comes to "trouble."

plasticann: [wearing a leather jacket] Adam, I'm going to make a quick CVS run, be right back.
Adam: Don't get into any trouble wearing that leather jacket.
plasticann: [earnestly] What kind of trouble? Like eat too much ice cream?
Adam: [slightly exasperated that his joke is falling flat due to to my misunderstanding] No, not too much ice cream...trouble like join a gang?
plasticann: [confused] Join a gang? In Davis Square?

Fortunately, Adam is also a giant square like me and I'm the biggest square of the family We've both committed to abstaining from the following activities just so we can really "lord it over" our nonexistent unborn children. We don't want to chance being called hypocrites...we want to legitimately be self righteous:

• Cigarettes
• Pot
• Piercings of any kind including earrings
• Tattoos

Which brings me to my favorite one...tattoos. Who doesn't have a tattoo? Practically half my friends have tattoos of and some of them are hardly demure. Pretty soon, the inked are going to outnumber the uninked. That's why I like say "F*$K the anti-establishment, I'm not getting a tattoo."Don't worry, I Adam totally admonished me when I jokingly said the uncensored version. He said, "sweetie pie, that's surprisingly rude." Yeah...I got in trouble.