We love you STATA
oh yes we do
We love you STATA
and we'll be true
when you're not near us
we're blue
STATA we love you.
[adapted from Bye Bye Birdie]

There aren't many people who genuinely share my enthusiasm for STATA, the statistical program we use at work. Adam, while happy for me, may humor me when I describe the new commands I've discovered at work, but he is generally disinterested in the specifics. Wheezy is my STATA buddy since she, as my mentor and I as her Telemachus, taught me everything I know. The following is a reconstructed conversation with my dear friend Wheezy.

plasticann: Hey Nina, how's it going?
wheezy: Not bad, how about you?
plasticann: I'm good! I've been learning all these new commands in STATA. Did you know you can generate the reverse of a string variable? "Nina" becomes "aniN"
wheezy: That's pretty cool, but why would you ever need to do that? Unless you wanted to print out the reverse of some data and iron it on a t-shirt.
plasticann: Well, you couldn't even iron it on a t-shirt because it's not mirror image, it's just backwards.
wheezy: Wicked bizaaaah!