4forAll

How cool is this? Way Cool!

Iridescent Roast Beef...

...is harmless, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Something something about fat content and processed meat etc. etc. equals iridescent sheen to roast beef. I've thrown away many a roast beef sandwiches due to my aversion to iridescent lunch meat...reminds me of scaly fish.

If I had the Food Network...I could be a "shut-in"

MGDub freelances for our alumni magazine and gets the coolest assignments from her editor "Zrucie." Last month she interviewed the guy who wrote "Along Came Polly," and her next assignment is to review the Dweezil & Lisa on the Food Network. I've been especially keen on Lisa ever since she did a special concert during senior week. It was her ten year reunion which was why she was in town. Anyhow...she was an absolute riot and she told all these funny stories about being a student including a five minute bit about the giant muffins at the Blue Room. Like I was saying, I could very well be a "shut-in" if I had the Food Network, but then again what would I do for food?

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie...

She'll ask for some DVDs. In celebration of plasticmom's birthday next week, I sent her a DVD player...the exact same DVD player MGDub got for her birthday last month. I figured why not reap the benefits of Adam & Dave’s research and simply purchase the same machine for plasticmom. As always, gifts arrive early. As always, unhelpfully well-labeled boxes reveal their contents and ruin a surprise like the time I purchased a Kik-Step for her and the box had a picture of a stool so there was no fooling plasticmom. Fortunately, plasticmom's not big into surprises. Unfortunately, she doesn't have any DVDs to watch.

Cruising

This summer, I'm going on a cruise to Alaska with Adam’s family and I'm super excited. While I've never been on a cruise, I've heard tales of unlimited victuals and such from friends. Kellie spins yarns of ships with pizza snack bars where you just go and eat pizza. Kate, a cruise expert, speaks of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream passed out by the pint and dessert buffets. What is this mystical floating land of food paradise they speak of? Alas, I digress. Poking around the cruise line's website I happened upon the "dress code." Get this, you can pre-order rental formalwear and they will deliver it to your room. There's a company that serves as the vendor for this service on various cruise lines. I checked out the offerings for women and found the options sparse. My favorite is the wicked cheesy "gold blouse." I feel itchy just thinking about it.

"Help!...

...My apartment has a kitchen" is a fabulous cookbook of basics and not so basic recipes. I love the "Mom Tips" and how the cookbook calmly walks you through all the recipes. They've also created two other books, "Help! My apartment has a dining room" for entertaining and now "Chocolate on the Brain," for chocoholics. Don't be fooled by Amazon's special offer if you buy the books in pairs...there's no discount at all.

Another "Weekly" Installment of "Funnies from plasticmom"

plasticmom: So did you eat any chocolate on chocolate day? [chocolate day=valentine's day]
plasticann: I sure did eat chocolate on chocolate day. Did you eat chocolate?
plasticmom: No, but we did go to Hometown Buffet because we were at the car wash at 8:00am and we were so hungry.
plasticann: What do they serve at 8:00am at Hometown Buffet?
plasticmom: Breakfast foods. They had fried chicken, but I didn't eat it.
plasticann: Oh good. I thought you were eating turkey and mashed potatoes at 8:00am.
plasticmom: Well, the thing is...it was so early we both forgot our dentures at home and we had to eat really slow.
plasticann: Ha Ha Ha! That's really funny!
plasticmom: I think I should leave my dentures at home on purpose everytime I go to the buffet so I don't eat too much.

Funny Story Mostly at Steve's Expense

I e-mailed Nina the following annecdote since she enjoys physical humor like people falling down (as long as they're not seriously hurt). Please note that no one was ultimately hurt physically.

So Steve and I were taking the T home last night and we could hear our train pulling into the station so we start running (a big "no no" I know in Nina's book) toward the turnstiles. I whip out my pass, I go through and I see Steve running into the turnstiles at top speed. He doesn't go through, but slams into the immobile turnstile. I wondered if he was trying to jimmy the turnstile so he wouldn't need to use his pass because we were in a hurry. At this point, I'm on the other side of the entrance and I'm watching Steve back up and run into another turnstile, once again at full speed and without a pass. As one would guess, he slammed right into the turnstile. Then Steve, having realized he forgot about the whole T pass thing, pulls out his wallet and takes out his pass and finally comes through the turnstile safely. We still caught that train by the way, but I was doubled over in laughter and I couldn't believe he ran full speed into the turnstile TWICE. He was distracted and thought we were "exiting" rather than "entering" and forgot he needed to use his pass.

Pringle Shaped Chocolate

I spotted these Swoops (Reeses PB, Hershey's, York Peppermint and Almond Joy) at CVS last night while prowling the aisles for candy. Befuddled at first, I thought the Swoops were chocolate covered Pringles Potato Crisps. Although odd, the subject of chocolate covered fried potato chips had come up recently with my "no longer coworker" friends so my initial assumption about the Swoops was not completely random. Don't they look like Pringles?

Sushi Confections

Confections meticulously created to look like sushi. Visually appealing yet oddly bizarre...even though I'm completely onboard with the notion of chocolate handbags.

Kaplan Geeks

MGDub and I bonded over how Kaplan classes (GRE & GMAT respectively) boosted our self-esteems with regards to our "smarhhhhtness." Kaplan Class is the only time when knowing how to do basic Algebra is disproportionately rewarded. MGDub recalled being a "Kaplan Geek" with her friend Joanne and reenacted the following for my amusement.

MGDub (as a “Kaplan Geek” in GRE class somewhere in Providence in the very late 1990s): "Three-fourths is really just 75% or could also be expressed as .75 and six-eighths is also .75 because I know you can reduce the fraction down to three-fourths."

I get depressed before class because I could spend every waking moment studying for the GMAT and still fail to utilize all the resources available to me. Then I go to my actual class and leave feeling better thanks to my instructor who is best described as an endearing "spastic geek" given his reaction to a fading dry erase marker is to beg the marker to "black marker please don't go away" always followed by a elated "thank you black marker" when the ink well of the marker miraculously revitalizes mid-equation.

Mind the Pyrex Warning

Pyrex ovenproof glass dishes and pans come with the warning not to place the pans on direct heat such as a burner. My roommate had just turned on a burner so it wasn't quite red yet and I just wasn't thinking because I put the glass plate of mashed potatoes on the burner thinking it was off. A few minutes later, Carin exclaimed that the burner was on so we quickly removed the plate off the burner and a few seconds later, the glass plate shattered into the dish of garlic mashed potatoes. Very sad, but at least we had lots of other food. We then referred to a random bowl of muddy buddies as the "carbs" in place of the potatoes.

Reparations

I e-mailed Amazon's customer service yesterday expressing my disconcernment regarding their dramatic double price drops and they quickly responded by giving me a credit for the difference. Go Amazon! Their e-mail customer service isn't a big black cyberhole...I'm greatly encouraged.

Buhhht all the cool kids have 256MB!

Having received a generous bonus this weekend for last year's dedication, I wanted to celebrate by getting plasticmom a fun present. She initially asked for a dozen Papermate stick pens in green. Upon further consideration and having realized her request cost all of 99 cents, plasticmom requested one of those key chain type USB memory drive gadgets to transport her PowerPoint presentations and other documents between school and home. The following is a reconstructed conversation between plasticann and plasticmom with a guest appearance by Adam.

plasticmom: I really want one of those Flash Drive key chain things.
plasticann: Sure, I'll look into it and order you one.
plasticmom: All the other students in my class have them and I wanted to buy one, but I didn't know which one to buy when I went to CompUSA.

plasticann: Mom, can I call you back in a few minutes, Adam's on the phone.

plasticann: Hi Adam!
Adam: blah blah blah!
plasticann: blah blah blah...guess what, I'm going to buy my mom one of those key chain memory gadgets. I think I'm going to get her 128MB, that should be enough.
Adam: Ask her what she needs it for. She probably only needs 20MB.
plasticann: PowerPoint and papers and stuff, I guess I figure out how much memory she really needs.
Adam: blah blah blah...Bye!
plasticann: Talk to you tomorrow.

plasticann: Hi mom, I was just talking to Adam. What are you using the memory key chain and how much memory do you need.
plasticmom: Schoolwork and pictures and things.
plasticann: Well, I was going to get you 128MB, but Adam thinks you may only need 20MB if you're only using it for your homework.
plasticmom: You tell Adam I need 256MB.
plasticann: That's like 2 or 3 CDs and dozens of floppy disks. Your digital camera only as 128MB and you could carry around hundreds of pictures with 256MB
plasticmom: That sounds good.
plasticann: Why do you need 256MB?
plasticmom: All the cool kids have 256MB.
plasticann: Well then, if we're talking about cool kids...256MB it is.

Footnote to this amusing episode is plasticmom went to CompUSA to check out the gadgets and kept asking for 250MB and the salesperson told her they 250MB devices didn't exist because it's 256MB. On another note, why does the price keep dropping on Amazon. It was lower this morning than it was yesterday and the price dropped again this afternoon. It's already dropped 20% in price thus far between yesterday morning and this afternoon.

Stash of Candy and Nuts

I started at a new company this week which sounds much more dramatic than in actuality. I'm really working the same job in relatively the same place at a new company that consists of not all, but many of the same folks. There will be no Nina, no Jessica, no Greg, no Carol and no more general joyful L@#@&%* mayhem. It's truly heartbreaking, but don't get me started on that because I'll get depressed.

Nonetheless, I'm in Harvard Square temporarily before I move back to good ole Kendall Square merely two blocks away from where I once worked. The brief sojourn in Harvard Square is not without its perks. More lunch options, daily trips to Bob Slate and a shorter T ride by two stops. I digress! The friendly folks here in Harvard Square gave me a tour of the office featuring the usual water cooler, copier, fax machine and office supplies, but the tour also featured the Candy and Nut Drawers...note the plural in Drawer.

As the keeper of the gum bin at the old L@#@&%*-Kendall Square, I was flabbergasted at the overwhelming sight. Huge drawers filled with Candy and Nuts and unless the drawers were fitted with false bottoms, each drawer held least twenty if not forty pounds of treats. Unbelievable! Granted we enjoyed a greater variety of snacks at L@#@&%*-Kendall Square, but the sheer quantity of candy and nuts here is borderline disturbing. Just think how many pestilent squirrels could feed off that drawer of nuts? Dozens if not hundreds.

Pure Genius

At an office party this past Saturday, half the staff at L*&*%@# KS was found hovering over a bowl of Marshmallow Fruit Dip Jessica had whipped up. The simplicity of the concoction is pure genius...cream cheese and marshmallow fluff whipped together. Incidentally, Jessica reports that Marshmallow Fluff made using a slightly different process than marshmallow cr?me. Fluff is made using a "special batch process" so it's an artesianal brand of marshmallow cr?me. Talk about high quality.

Idiot Tax

Having forgotten my T-pass over the weekend as January rolled into February and now being unable to find my T-pass, I'm forced to pay what Zeith calls the "Idiot Tax" where unneccesary T tokens are purchased.