Too Young To Be Married!!!

The following is a reconstructed conversation between plasticann and the sandwich lady (SL) at New Saigon downtown:

plasticann: [talking to Adam on new phone while waiting for sandwiches] Yeah, I'm at the sandwich place so I can get you one for tomorrow. See you later. Bye!
plasticann: [to SL] I'd like to add a teriyaki chicken sandwich to my order.
SL: Ha ha, your friend knew you were here so they called for a sandwich.
plasticann: Yeah, it was my husband, he wanted a sandwich for tomorrow.
SL: You married?
plasticann: Yeah!
SL: [maternally] You're too young to be married!
plasticann: [sheepishly]Well, I'm not really that young. I'm 28.
SL: 28! You're [nineteen] seventy-nine like me!
plasticann: No, seventy-eight! [pause] So I guess I'm actually older than you.

Not only is the sandwich lady a year younger than me and positively 27 not 28, she has two kids, ages ten and eight. Too young to be married my "Gluteus Maximus!" I'm positively over the hill and barren to boot.