Perhaps not so shocking revelations about Shaw's sheet cake

With regards to the Shaw's sheet cake decorated with the cheesy frosting roses available in their in house bakery. The following is a reconstructed conversation between plasticann and Shaw's Bakery Lady or "SBL."

plasticann: How long can I keep this cake unrefrigerated?
SBL: For a while, I wouldn't worry about it.
plasticann: A couple hours?
SBL: It's really not going to go bad, you can keep it out for like two months. We keep it in the fridge just for show.
plasticann: (warily) How often do you bake these cakes?
SBL: We don't even bake them. They actually come frozen and they say the shelf life is a week and a half, but there are so many preservatives in there you could keep it for two months.
plasticann: Thanks!

I ended up getting a yellow cake decorated with very natural looking blue roses. The cake was actually pretty good and I ate two slices. My friend Heather pointed out that the cake had a "Twinkie-esqe" quality, which we all know, is shelf stable for years and most definitely non-perishable.