$28/lb

To properly commemorate my matriculation into BIT, I'm paying homage to my alma mater’s daily rag with some textbook inspired "Diamonds and Coals."

Coals: If BIT ever took a page from its "alternative" neighbor, the Garment District, my books would have cost $28 a pound.

Diamonds: Fortunately, I only had to buy four books for my first semester at BIT so I only had to make one trip to the Coop. I remember having to pick up eight separate books for just one of my classes in college, at times taking several trips to the bookstore to complete my back to school shopping.

Speaking of college, MGDub and I once took a Faulkner and Fitzgerald class with two other friends. Due to the frenetic pace of the reading list [two books a week], and the lack of incentive since we were required to take the class pass/fail, I didn't actually do all that much of the reading, in particular, I didn't read hardly any Faulkner because I simply couldn't get through more than a chapter at a time. Once our professor, in an effort to encourage us, suggested we read Faulkner several times with different colors of highlighters to code the various “voices” and points of view. After that, I completely gave up any hope of ever doing the reading. The only Faulkner I actually read was a little known super short novella titled "The Pilot," but I'll have you know, I owned all of the required reading at that point in time. After all, I'm not textbook buying slacker/cheapskate. The following two reconstructed conversations/situations demonstrate how rampant this issue was for our entire class.

Section:

One of my friends [Zim] had already graduated, but was interested in joining my section review on Absalom Absalom, a book he could never finish. He thought joining us "unofficially" for section would motivate him to finish the book. Zim shows up for section and settles in. At one point in section, it is obvious that most of us have not actually read the book.

TA: How many of you have actually read this book? Please raise you hands because we can't have a productive discussion if no one has read the book.
[two hands go up]
TA: Ok, how many of you have read half of the book?
[a couple of more hands go up]
TA: How about a third?
[a lot more hands go up, including plasticann and Zim]

Later, after section:

Zim: Gosh, that was really stressful. I'm not even in the class and I felt so guilty that I hadn't finished the reading.

Zim thought reading a third of the book warrented guilt, there were folks in my section who hadn't even cracked open the book. I suppose slacking off is all relative.

Final Exam:

Since I had only read one Faulkner book and it wasn't really even a book, I was in a tight spot come finals time. Granted, I only had to pass the class and we did get the questions beforehand to prepare, but I had no idea what the books were about. Fortunately, lots of folks including my friends and MGDub were in the same boat so a spirit of cooperation flourished. The following is a reconstructed conversation while cramming for the final.

Friend 1: So, what about question four, has anyone read "As I Lay Dying?"
MGDub: Oh, I didn’t do all the reading, but I read that one. It's about someone who's dying... yada yada yada.
plasticann: I read "The Pilot." It's about a pilot flying a plane. That’s the only one I read.
Friend 2: Are there any questions "The Pilot" applies too?
Friend 1: Maybe question 5, but it's a stretch.
plasticann: Remember, we get to choose which four out of the five essay questions to answer so therefore, we only have to prepare for 9 out of the 10 possible questions.
MGDub: What's Absalom Absalom about?
Friend 1: Oh, that's the only one I read, It's about Absalom and this house and blah blah blah.

In conclusion, between the four of us, we could cover about 80% of the required reading. Sadly, there wasn’t much overlap so I guess we each averaged 20% of the reading. I would say, my contribution was below average so if I were truly honest, I’d have to bump that 20% down just a tad. We all survived the exam and we all graduated, but I felt awful about the whole experience. For years, I kept my Faulkner books in hopes that I would finally complete that required reading as my act of penance since I felt like such a sham, but I finally had to let it go. I dropped them off at Goodwill and thought, "Good Riddance, go haunt someone else" and freed up some much needed mental space.