1 day to Christmas: You're kinda in a bind unless you're celebrating Orthodox Christmas

At this point, it's 24 hours to Christmas and you probably want to avoid the mall because it'll be crazy busy and possibly crazy depressing. I'm going to make some last minute suggestions for your local 24 hour drugstore without resorting to the gift card rack.

Band Aids: 

Last time I checked, little kids love Band Aids. It's like crack to kids, but the safer crack since it's marginally less destructive than than actual crack for kids aka refined sugar. Stop by the Band Aid aisle and buy at least 5 boxes of cute themed Band Aids, 10 boxes if your budget permits. Get the premium branded cute stuff, don't skimp out on generic plain Band Aids. It's Christmas, don't be a grinch. Wrap them up and let them rip it all open on Christmas morning. It's the gift that might not last long and it's the gift that parents might not like very much, but it'll provide about 5 minutes of pure joy and quite a bit of trash.

Themed sets of magazines:

Stop by the magazine aisle and top like twenty bucks on a pile of magazines geared toward someone's interest or guilty pleasure. If you want to fake it, buy a hard copy of a magazine and then sneak online and buy them a subscription that will come in a few weeks.

Decor and Home Stuff: 

• House Beautiful
• Dwell
• Elle Decor

Trashy Stuff - buy a couple for multiple sources of Kim Kardashian's latest adventures:

• US
• Star
• National Enquirer
• People…to keep it a little respectable

Food Stuff:

• Bon Appetite
• Food & Wine
• Gourmet
• Food Network

You get the idea…just buy a bunch of stuff in the same category for the illusion of thoughtfulness

As Seen on TV:

I've noticed that my local CVS has a section of goofy Christmas gifts that are mostly as seen on TV type gifts. If you're gonna go this route, I recommend you totally own the gift by playing up the campiness and being over the top. Avoid "practicality, "usefulness" and "good taste" at all costs since most gifts from this drugstore aisle will not qualify. Get them something that they'd never buy themselves, something they might secretly want, but are too embarrassed. Think butter butlers, chia pets, chocolate fountains, lava lamps, etc.

Merry Christmas! Best of luck at the local drugstore if you're headed there to shop…you're gonna need it in more ways than one.

When parents stop being polite and start getting real

It goes without saying that plasticmom is just the best. She's endearing, very sweet, hilarious and incredibly nice. You know how older people sometimes speak their mind and stop caring so much about being polite or saying the right thing? I think plasticmom might be tipping into that and I'm going to start finding out what she really thinks. It's gonna be good!

Scene: plasticann is sorting through old photographs

plasticann: [looking at a high school photo] I think I'm going to have to shred this one.

plasticmom: No no, let me see it first.

plasticann: [holds photo for plasticmom to see] What do you think?

plasticmom: [Wincing with a look of mild horror grabs the photo] AGHHHHHH! The pimples, the braces, the hair, ughhhhhh! Is that really you? Maybe you should shred it.

plasticann: [laughing] MOM, that's the wrong thing to say. Here's another one from high school. You ready?

plastimom: [bracing herself] That's not you? That's your friend. 

plasticann: That's me!

plasticmom: I don't believe it. That's not you. Why is this shirt so loose, what's this weird dress?

plasticann: That's my shirt and my dress. I remember buying it and I really liked it.

plasticmom: I still don't believe it.

Key takeaways:

• plastimom is horrified by my class photo, the one day I made some sort of effort regarding my appearance. I'm with her, I too feel mortified in retrospect. Fortunately, I was blissfully unaware during my "awkward years."
• plasticmom can't recognize me from a photo and still insists it's not me.
• plasticmom was gracious enough or blind enough to think I was "adorable"during these awkward years, but she's clearly mildly horrified looking back. Ignorance is bliss.
• plasticmom continues to make me laugh so hard my sides hurt.

Dear Diary…1988

"Going through my stuff" at plasticmom's is always an interesting and often hilarious trip down memory lane. I unearthed a Peanuts diary that said "KEEP OUT!" complete with a combination lock. I wasn't even going to bother opening up the diary since I couldn't remember the combination, but plasticmom persisted for about 30 seconds and the contents were revealed. Tah dah!

The only thing "juicy" about this diary is the amount of orange juice we were all drinking according to my meticulous record of our 5th grade snacks. There are only two entries on one page, both for November 1988 so I must have lost the combination for the lock real quick. 

• I could totally picture myself writing a very similar entry in a diary today. I would like to think my snack records would be more refined, but I'm pretty sure I've actually made note in a journal about enjoying "Cheetos with orange juice" at some point in the last 12 months.
• I've always been food obsessed. What everyone brought for snack was clearly the highlight of the day. Maybe the big secret I was keeping locked up in my diary was that I was more interested in snack than school. Scandalous!
• This kid Nobu might have been a hobbit who enjoyed multiple snacks. First some orange juice and then some Cracker Jacks for elevensies. Now that I think about it, I remember he had these awesome Teddy Grahams for snack one day and I was jealous. 
• How come I'm eating an apple while my friends are chomping on fruit roll ups, corn chips Frito to be exact, chips, Cracker Jacks and Cheetos. Most disturbing is, why am I "eating nothing" for snack on November 23, 1988. I'm gonna have to ask plasticmom some tough questions.

The only person I'm still Facebook friends with is a girl named Michelle. I wonder if she's feeding her adorable kids "Fritos corn chips" and "Cheetos?"

Postscript: Both plasticmom and Adam were befuddled. They both asked "why would you write about snacks in your diary?"

1 Week to Christmas: Backup Gifts

Figuring out a "thoughtful" gift for someone you don't really know well is really challenging so I get really excited when I find universally appealing gifts. I think these two gift ideas should adequately cover your gift giving needs for most older kids and adults you don't know well for under $15 that's a little more unusual than a liquor [for the adults] or gift cards.

PocketMonkey Tool - $12

I've come back to this PocketMonkey gift of a workhorse again and again this year. It was created by a friend of a friend so I can play up the "ZIT" connection and the "created in Somerville" aspect. It's not yet widely available so it's still a novelty and broadly appeals to most people age 8+. It's also super compact and TSA compliant so you can carry it on planes. When I traveled this summer, I brought five PocketMonkey tools to give away as gifts to relatives I had never met and they went like hotcakes. plasticmom emailed me this week, "I need 5 monkey tool cards for Taipei gifts" because "everyone wants one when they see it." The only small challenge is finding them, but fortunately EMS carries them in Boston and you can check store availability and reserve them online which is how I acquired 10 more "monkey tool cards" for plasticmom.

Pilot Hi-Tec C Maica Pen Set - $15

I am obsessed with these Hi-Tec C pens from Japan, but that's not exactly news. I use those pens almost exclusively because they write very smoothly and the colors are really lovely. I seek them out when I travel in Asia and I possessively hoard my pens. If you "borrow" a Hi-Tec C pen, you can be confident I will ask for it back even if the next time I see you is not for a long while. My friend Zara ran out [virtually] to JetPens.com to buy herself a set after she tried my pen. The newest version of the pen is called the Maica so it looks a little different, but the reviewers on JetPens really like it. I usually buy them from JetPens, but I see that even Amazon sells them and will Prime ship them to boot.

2 Weeks to Christmas: I really wish I were kid...

Ice Cream Truck from OTO Toys

When I saw this beautiful cardboard ice cream truck toy, I was smitten. It's adorable! I want it, but I need this cardboard ice cream truck as much as I need an ridiculously expensive handbag. I can probably semi justify the handbag more easily. Someone I know, please buy this for your child so I can come visit and play.

Uncle Goose Blocks

I'm also obsessed with all shapes (just cubic) and sizes of Uncle Goose blocks. I bought a set of lower case blocks for Zristen's baby shower as decorations and I really really wanted to keep them for myself.

The classic upper case ABC and lower case abc blocks are great. The lower case abc blocks are a little unusual, they feature baby versions of animals on the blocks. They also have foreign language blocks for smart multiethnic babies. I bought the Arabic set for a friend who's Moroccan Moving beyond the letter blocks, you'll find awesome blocks with periodic tables, USA blocks and Presidential blocks. If you want to get all high design and buy me gift, they have Eames House blocks, House Industry Font Alphabet blocks, Christmas Tree blocks and so much more.

3 Weeks to Christmas: Game Night

As a child, Adam dreamed of family game nights which rarely came to fruition either due to lack of interest or initiative. These days, Adam hosts a monthly game night that's now a "thing" after a year of persistently having fun. It's a potluck game night so you bring games and snacks to share. It's also been fun to learn about new games that would also make cool gifts. Here's the round up of new discoveries and old favorites thanks to adventurous game playing friends.

King of Toyko

You might not realize by looking at him, but Adam is really into super heroes, zombies and monsters. Our friends Zrian and Zbigail introduced us to King of Tokyo, a game pitting imaginary monsters with even more imaginary powers in an epic battle set in pretty much an imaginary Tokyo. Let me assure you that there's nothing culturally educational about this game. You will learn nothing about actual Tokyo, but it's fun nonetheless. Adam loved King of Tokyo so much, he promptly ordered his own set the next week so he could bring it his new toy to someone else's house. I've come to enjoy it myself and I especially like to make sound effects like, "whack whack" when my monster takes a "whack."

Ticket to Ride

I love this train building game because it's a perfect fit for my personality and it's right in my sweet spot. It's even sorta educational and it's definitely a ton of fun. We have the American version, but there's also an European version. I look forward to playing it every game night without fail.

I'm an ISTJ and if you're not familiar with Myers Briggs, let me break it down for you within a Ticket to Ride context.

Introvert: There's no trading and negotiating in this game which is perfect if you want to hang out with people, but maybe don't want to be chatty the entire time. Everyone has their own agenda, there's almost no cooperation and minimal interaction. I almost feel energized after a game of Ticket to Ride.

Sensing: Collecting train cards, building trains, building routes is all super tangible and detailed oriented. I love it!

Thinking: Successfully building a train route from LA to NYC requires a lot of forethought, deliberate planning and lots of opportunities to use the old noggin…quietly with little interaction.

Judgement: First step of this game is to decide which train routes you're going to build. Yipee! I know where I'm going and I have a tangible goal. I can measure my goal when I reach it and check it off my list.

Oh man, I really want to play Ticket to Ride now. Maybe I can persuade Adam to play with me.

Powder Room Updates

It's been a few months since we painted and updated our first floor powder room, but I haven't posted any photos because the bathroom is small enough that it's challenging to take photos. It measures about 30 inches by 60 inches which as teeny as it can be while still being comfortable. I've seen teenier bathrooms that are extremely uncomfortable and fortunately our's is big enough to be functional.

The "before" of this small bathroom was pretty unremarkable. Functional, clean and pretty comfortable. Plain white walls that eventually started peeling, extremely dim, generic white cabinet over the toilet and a plain mirror I picked up on a whim at Target the weekend we moved in.

The "after" features a few updates:

• Extra sparkly lighting with a disco ball pendant lamp from PBTeen
• Taller mirror from West Elm
• Purple walls Benjamin Moore North Cascades
• Removed white cabinet and installed clear shelf from CB2
• Collection of six maps of significance from various Etsy stores online

Disco ball light from PBTeen

Mirror from West Elm

Etsy Maps

Providence, RI, Boston

Seattle, San Francisco

Los Angeles, Taipei

"Floating" clear shelf from CB2

4 Weeks to Christmas: Fancy Pants gifts that are not actually pants

Here are two items that I instantly coveted as soon as I saw them. They provoked an unfamiliar feeling of profound regret and the thought, "I wish I'd waited to buy XYZ, this one is so much cooler. Wah!" Buyers remorse is a very rare experience for me which is why I'm highlighting these two fancy pants gift ideas that are just a little bit slicker and cooler, but entirely unnecessary.

Custom Jambox…ships in 2 days…wow!

I am a sucker for anything customizable, especially if the custom version costs the same as the standard version. Years ago, Wheezy and I wasted countless hours customizing messenger bags at Timbuk2 so I knew I was in trouble when I saw that you could customize your own Jambox. I already own a little red Jambox so I don't need another one, but I love little red Jambox so much, I'm considering replacing my Bose iPod sound dock with a second Jambox. It's small, portable, super easy to use and easy on the eyes.

Bose Noise Canceling Earbuds

I just bought myself Bose Noise Canceling Headphones this summer. In fact, Adam and plasticmom both have their own headphones so I can't even pawn my headphones off on them and buy new ones. I do love my headphones and I use them all the time. One of my favorite "activities" (and plasticmom's) is to wear the headphones while miming to those around you (namely Adam) that you can't "hear" them even though you sorta still can. The only downside to the headphones is that they are bulky and these new earbuds that Bose released are NOT bulky. I absolutely do not need a second pair of noise canceling thingies, but I kinda wished they'd been offered earlier this year when I was buying my bulky headphones.

Bulky Noise Canceling Headphones? Nah, just some old school 80s headphones on baby plasticann.

Almond Coconut Meringue Cookie Recipe

I ended up with three leftover egg whites because a cake I made last week called for three egg yolks so I was looking for a recipe that called for egg whites so I could score one leftover point. I have also been dreaming of the almond coconut meringue/macaroon cookies they offer at the Blue Room for Sunday brunch so I decided to experiment and create my own version. I adapted a meringue cookie recipe online and added my own extras.

Almond Coconut Meringue Cookies - yields about 36

4 egg whites
1 pinch of salt
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

1 and 1/3 cups sugar
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup shredded coconut
1/3 cup almond flour/meal

1. Preheat over to 275 degrees. Line 2 rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper.
2. On high speed, whip egg whites, salt and cream of tartar until you have soft peaks
3. 1/3 cup at a time, add sugar to egg whites and whip on high until you have stiff peaks
4. Add almond and vanilla extract, whip
5. Gently fold in coconut and almond flour
6. Spoon mounds of meringue onto cookie sheet
7. Bake about 30 minutes until cookies are light brown and easily peel off the parchment paper

Crumbly crisp exterior with soft center. If you don't know your own strength, you just might squash the cookie like a little bug.

5 Weeks to Christmas: New Home Sweet Homes

This year, a number of my friends have bought new homes and moved. It's both exciting and a little bittersweet with everyone moving on to a new phase. I've leaned on these two gift ideas to celebrate this milestone recently and since they're require a little bit of lead time, order early and be done with your shopping.

Fancy Address Stamp: 

Your friends might not buy themselves a fancy personalized address stamp because they're waiting for their first batch of "free" address labels from the American Cancer Society, but you know they'll appreciate one of these fancy address stamps. I'd like to think it makes paying the mortgage more palatable. 

Save The Date on Etsy is a favorite vendor of mine. Here are some more cool looking shops like foryoo and and Greenhouse Studio. 

Personalized Word Map:

A little personalized something to remember their last home and all the memories. Adam and I personalized this map for Adam's dad who grew up in Seattle. Amanda from UrbanFootprintDesign on Etsy helped us personalized the map with important landmarks from growing up there. 

6 Weeks to Christmas: Local Candy Gift Ideas

This year, I'm not feeling super ambitious so I'm going to keep it at just one weekly post with a few gift ideas in the six weeks leading up to 12/25/13. I'm starting out with some local candy gifts which also work great as gifts for your Thanksgiving hosts.

Local candy if local means Somerville, MA

Taza Chocolate: This is not a new discovery by any means and it's a massive local favorite, but I've rediscovered them recently when searching out for gluten free and dairy free gifts. It's been challenging to find food gifts that are GF and DF that I actually really enjoy myself so I'm pretty excited about Taza Chocolates this year for its dietary versatility

• Gluten Free and Dairy Free
• Fun limited edition holiday flavors like Gingerbread and Eggnog
• Chocolate samplers are a great way to try a bunch of their flavors, I love the Salt & Pepper
• They even offer tours at their company store in Somerville which is super fun. You do have to wear a hair net and a beard net if you've got a winter beard like Adam

Adam's hair net and beard net at the Taza factory tour

Spindler Chocolates: I discovered these guys at the Davis Square Flea Market this fall where I bought their Almond Clusters and their Pate de Fruit jelly candies. Both were delicious and they're made right outside of Porter Square.

• Full of dairy
• Local dude making a living making candy
• Product looks more expensive than it actually is, always a plus

"Chipotle" Chicken Rice Soup - Recipe Shortcut

Adam's feeling a little under the weather recently and I wanted to make him some chicken soup for dinner, but I didn't really have a lot of time and I also didn't have much food so I took some pretty extreme recipe shortcuts that I think are pretty genius.

plasticann: I'm going to make some chicken rice soup for dinner, but I'm taking a "shortcut."
Adam: That sounds good, did you buy rotisserie chicken as the shortcut?
plasticann: Actually, I bought a Chipotle chicken burrito bowl
Adam: [eyebrows raised]

Here it is...Chipotle Chicken Rice Soup with a major shortcut

1 Chicken burrito bowl (I got it with white lime rice, extra corn salsa, cheese, peppers and onions. I skipped the sour cream.)
1 box of chicken stock
2 cups water
1 lime (Chipotle kindly gave me some complimentary lime wedges)
1/4 cup leftover salsa
2 chopped tomatoes
3 ears of corn
1/2 cup chopped scallions
1/2 cup chopped cilantro
Salt and pepper to taste

• Bring chicken stock and water to a boil
• Cook corn and burrito bowl on low for a little while to meld the flavors
• Add all the other ingredients
• Serve alone or with chips especially Chipotle Lime Chips

So this Chipotle Chicken Rice Soup has been on my mind since it was so easy and super delicious. I've been telling everyone about how they too can turn a burrito bowl into a pot of soup. I got super excited yesterday when I got an email from Cook's Country with a recipe for easy chipotle chicken soup. I thought, "wow, Cook's Country is doing the same thing I did, buy Chipotle and make soup." Once I read the recipe, I realized they mean "chipotle" as in the pepper chicken soup not "Chipotle" the restaurant chicken soup. Wah wah!

Homemade Cookie Gifts - Freeze Ahead

A friend's mom was super duper disappointed to find out recently that it was her daughter-in-law, not her son, who'd been selecting, buying and sending all her thoughtful gifts over the last decade. I certainly wasn't surprised because the same deal holds in my household. Adam and I made this deal early on that I would take on all the gift giving, cards and social niceties while Adam tackled most of the cooking. It was a clear example of comparative advantage and the benefits of trade because we have both been delighted with the arrangement. While we never announced the division of labor to Adam's parents, I think they caught on since they're pretty smart. Adam jokingly confessed to his parents that "he had nothing to do" with their gifts to which they graciously responded, "yeah we figured, it's ok."

Within the scope of my gift giving responsibilities is making sure we have stuff to bring for social occasions. To prepare for a weekend of fun social events, I baked up a bunch of home baked cookies. I made some extra packs of cookies which I'll freeze in freezer bags so I'll be ready for whatever comes from housewarming parties to impromptu birthday lunches. This week's selections include:

• Apricot Jam Coconut Thumbprint Cookies
• Shortbread Cookies
• Ginger Molasses Cookies
• and Sprinkledoodles

All these cookies freezer super well. They usually thaw out in about an hour so I just grab them out of the freezer the morning of or the night before. To joyfully efficient holiday celebrations! I'm ready!!!

Trouble...don't "really" even know how to get into it

I've realized over time that I lack a working knowledge of what "trouble" even means It's laughable as in laughing at me, but I'm OK with it. Funny/confusing conversations sometimes arise around what I think "trouble" means. It's a tossup whether I lack imagination or if I have an over active imagination when it comes to "trouble."

plasticann: [wearing a leather jacket] Adam, I'm going to make a quick CVS run, be right back.
Adam: Don't get into any trouble wearing that leather jacket.
plasticann: [earnestly] What kind of trouble? Like eat too much ice cream?
Adam: [slightly exasperated that his joke is falling flat due to to my misunderstanding] No, not too much ice cream...trouble like join a gang?
plasticann: [confused] Join a gang? In Davis Square?

Fortunately, Adam is also a giant square like me and I'm the biggest square of the family We've both committed to abstaining from the following activities just so we can really "lord it over" our nonexistent unborn children. We don't want to chance being called hypocrites...we want to legitimately be self righteous:

• Cigarettes
• Pot
• Piercings of any kind including earrings
• Tattoos

Which brings me to my favorite one...tattoos. Who doesn't have a tattoo? Practically half my friends have tattoos of and some of them are hardly demure. Pretty soon, the inked are going to outnumber the uninked. That's why I like say "F*$K the anti-establishment, I'm not getting a tattoo."Don't worry, I Adam totally admonished me when I jokingly said the uncensored version. He said, "sweetie pie, that's surprisingly rude." Yeah...I got in trouble.

Cilantro Pesto Panzanella (+7 leftover points)

Ever since my friends Zbigail and Zrian introduced me to "leftover points," I've been motivated to cook with things I already have. It's a bit of a challenge, but kinda fun. Basically, you get one point for every ingredient that you already have. Think half finished items in your fridge or pantry. Some veggies and fruit that are about to be too ripe and need consuming could count too. I didn't give myself points for garlic, seasonings and other staples because that felt like cheating.

Cilantro Lime Pesto (+4 points)

Big bunch of fresh cilantro (+1)
Grated Parmesan or grated Romano (+1)
Lime zest and lime juice (+1)
Almond meal (+1)
Garlic
Olive oil
Salt & Pepper

• Use food processor to blend the ingredients together into a pesto like paste. Season to taste and adjust ingredient ratios to taste

Panzanella (+3 points)

Cilantro lime pesto
Stale olive bread (+1)
Olive oil
Cucumber
Bell pepper
Avocado (+1)
Tomato (+1)

• Cube bread, toss in olive oil, bake in oven at 350 until crisp
• Chop up veggies
• Mix bread, veggies and pesto together, season to taste

16 pounds of Caramel Ice Cream...Check

2013 vintage

All 3 gallons or 16 pounds fit nicely in a tote bag

We've partied with a big tub of Caramel Apple Ice Cream from JP Licks going on five years so it's sorta becoming a bit of a tradition. Every September, Adam starts peeking into the JP Licks window in Davis Square to see if the "flavors of the month" include "Caramel Apple Ice Cream." It only comes once a year, typically in October. However, JP Licks has been known to release the flavors "early" so Adam checks it starting mid September just to be sure he doesn't miss out on the very narrow Caramel Apple Ice Cream season. Having confirmed it's release, I walked over to JP Licks this afternoon to secure our annual supply when the following reconstructed conversation occurred:

plasticann: Hi, I'd like to get a big tub of Caramel Apple.

Scooper: [pointing to the quart tubs] Oh you mean like a quart.

plasticann: [gesturing about 2 feet high] No, I mean like a giant tub.

Scooper: [incredulously] Like the "buckets" that we scoop from?

plasticann: Yes! A bucket of ice cream.

Scooper: Uhhh, I'm going to have to ask my manager. I'll be right back!

Manager: So you want a "bucket" of ice cream?

plasticann: Yup!

Manager: Do you KNOW how our buckets are?

plasticann: Yes!

Manager: Do you have a deep chest freezer with enough space to store the bucket?

plasticann: I cleared out plenty of room today.

Manager: Do you KNOW how much a bucket costs?

plasticann: [sheepishly] I do...I've actually bought a "bucket" every year for the last 5 years so I do know how big it is and how much it costs.

Manager: OK...I just have to make sure that you know what you're buying. I don't want you to be surprised when you get it home. Do you need help carrying it to your car? It's big!!!

plasticann: Just put it in this tote bag, I'm all set.

As I was leaving

Scooper: [whispers to the manager] How much does a bucket cost?

Manager: $XY dollars!

plasticann: [chiming in] It's actually very economical when you think about per quart.

Manager: [nodding] It is a very good deal.

There you have it! They don't let just anyone walk out with a bucket of ice cream. It's practically a controlled substance and they've probably added me to some sort of ice cream anonymous database at this point. From my perspective, it's just 16 pounds of ice cream and I'm confident that this year we'll be able to take down the bucket like we did last year. Join in this heroic endeavor and lookout for an email from Adam sometime soon.

Pumpkin Cake with Maple Frosting - updated with photos

I recently made a Pumpkin Cake with Maple Brown Butter Glaze to bring to a baby shower for some college friends and it turned out great so I'm making a record for my blog since I'm definitely going to make it again sometime soon.

Because of scheduling, I couldn't make my potluck dessert the day before or the day of so I tried some make ahead ideas that turned out great. I had made doughnuts with maple glaze earlier in the week so I had all this delicious maple glaze leftover in the fridge. I baked a Pumpkin Cake using this popular allrecipes.com recipe, wrapped it up in lots of foil and layers of plastic grocery bags and froze the bundt cake. Then I pulled the cake out of the freezer the night before the party and drizzled the warm maple glaze on the cake when I arrived at my friends house. It was so easy and I got so many nice compliments, that I'm a little embarrassed.

Maple Brown Butter Glaze (make ahead, yields two cups or enough frosting for 2 bundt cakes)

3/4 stick butter
1 pound powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3/4 cup maple syrup

1. Melt butter in a small pan over medium heat and cook until butter browns, but don't burn the butter
2. Place powdered sugar in a stand mixer bowl, beat brown butter and vanilla into the sugar
3. On high, beat maple syrup into the mixture until the glaze is well mixed and a little fluffy
4. Use immediately or store in the fridge
5. Before you glaze the cake, just warm up the glaze in the microwave for 10-15 seconds or until the glaze is runny and then pour it over your cake. Glaze will set or firm up in about 30 seconds after you pour it on the cake

 Melt butter on medium high and brown

Browned butter with little brown bits...should smell a little nutty, but not burned

Pour browned butter into powdered sugar in mixing bowl. Be sure to scrape in all those lovely brown butter bits

Pumpkin Cake (can also make ahead and freeze)

Wet Ingredients:
2 cups white sugar
1.25 cups vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups or 1 can of pumpkin
4 eggs

Dry Ingredients:
2 cups flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Optional: add some other spices you like. I used 1/4 teaspoon of ground ginger.

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Liberally spray Bundt pan with lots of oil+flour spray. Invest in the spray, it works like magic. Use it liberally, it'll make or break your Bundt cake
3. Sift dry ingredients
4. In a bowl, mix sugar and vegetable oil together well
5. Mix in vanilla and pumpkin
6. Blend in eggs until well mixed
7. Slowly mix in dry ingredients until cake is mixed
8. Pour batter into the Bundt pan (remember to spray it liberally with the oil+flour spray)
9. Place Bundt pan on top of a rimmed cookie sheet in case the pan overflows a little
10. Bake Bundt in oven for about 45 minutes. You'll want to check on the cake since every oven is different, but bake it until the cake is no longer raw and a toothpick comes out "clean-ish." Super goopy is raw, too clean is dry
11. Let cake cool in pan
12. Turn cake out onto a plate. It should slide right out if you remembered to use the oil+flour spray generously
13. Warm up 1 cup of maple glaze so it's a little runny. Just a little warm and pourable will do
14. Pour glaze over the top of the cake and let it flow down the sides of the cake
15. Eat it!

Note: Use the special oil+flour baking spray. Don't be cheap, don't skimp, just buy it for $3. You'll be glad when your cake slides out of the Bundt pan with ease. If you don't use the spray, your cake will probably be stuck in your pan and you'll be full of regret. Seriously, just buy the spray, it's worth the $3.

Be sure to spray that 10 cup bundt pan liberally with Bakery's Joy spray

Pour that batter into the sprayed pan...all the batter. Place on large rimmed sheet just in case it bubbles over

 Cake slides right out of the bundt pan because we used that Baker's Joy spray

Pan is pretty clean of cake crumbs because we used the spray. I just stick it in the dishwasher top rack to clean

Glazed cake! Adam thinks it looks like a volcano with molten lava.

Oreo Tasting

Adam has a special talent for making an event out of something seemingly ordinary or pedestrian. Tuesday night was a classic case of Adam's genius. To celebrate the end of our small group, Adam organized a blind Oreo tasting and served as our facilitator. Here's how it went.

• Everyone received a pen and an index card
• We closed our eyes and put our hands out
• Adam would carefully place Oreos into our hands saying, "Oreo #1 of 8"
• With our eyes still closed, we'd attempt to taste and smell these Oreos
• Adam would walk around with a "discard" bowl collecting uneaten Oreos. Kinda like a spittoon for wine tasting, but less gross.
• When everyone was done and the Oreos were discarded or consumed, we all opened our eyes and wrote down what kind of Oreo we thought "Oreo #1" was.
• Repeat eight times for eight cookies. 

The Oreo tasting was surprisingly difficult. Some were easy like Cool Mint and Peanut Butter. Other's were a little tricky like Berry Burst Ice Cream. Adam bent the rules a little on the Berry Burst and counted Strawberry and Raspberry as "close enough" answers. Reduced Fat Oreos were not even worth eating, I called it the "Little Stuff Oreo." Ice Cream Rainbow Shure, Bert was the hardest because the cookie featured three different stripes of filling so depending on which part of the cookie you tried, you tasted something different. 

Only one person, Zick, ate all eight Oreos. The rest of us nibbled and discarded. My favorite wackadoodle answer was "apple cider." I don't even remember which one they thought was "apple cider," but it was way off. Adam's coworker, Zal, took a sampling of Oreos home to her three boys and the kids had a blast tasting all the Oreos and writing down their answers. I have a feeling the Znekvik boys did not utilize the discard bowl at all.

Fort Knox and the Kiddie Federal Reserve

Adam's sister and brother-in-law, Zara & Zryce, have three adorable kids that sometimes need a little "motivation" for good behavior. A few years ago, they instituted a gold coin reward system where the kids are rewarded for various good behaviors, the kids "save" their gold coins to redeem them for various special treats. I'm sure it's a super common parenting framework and much, as in one other story, has been written about Zara & Zryce's gold coin system by Adam's dad. [check out story below]. 

However, let's call it what it is because I did major in Economics after all . Zara & Zryce have created their own household monetary system where they "print" money by supplying these tightly controlled gold coins. They've also set up a basket of goods with a price list that they call the "Gold Star Reward Chart." They are the Federal Reserve, the kids "employers," central planners and the company store all rolled into one entity. The kids can only cash in their gold coins with mom and dad who are the only ones who will accept them. Mom and dad set and change the prices for all special treats from iPad time to movies to dessert. The parents also set the good behavior "wage". The kids love their gold coins and they're completely bought into the system. They have every right to trust the monetary authority aka mom and dad. Fortunately, the parents are benevolent autocrats and the kids are motivated toward good behavior so everyone's happy.

Now, this system only works because the kids can't earn gold coins from anyone else. They can't or haven't figured out how to go buy sacks of "counterfeit" gold coins from the very same store their parents are buying them from. Like many planned economies, price adjustments are sometimes required like the time when the price of iPad time basically dropped by half. When Zara & Zryce realized that they had an oversupply of iPad time resources, the changed the price for iPad time. 10 gold coins used to buy you 15 minutes of iPad time, but now it buys you a whole 30 minutes of iPad time.

Sometimes, there's a bit of a gold coin hoarding problem when the kids start obsessively over saving and their little economy gets stagnant because no one is buying stuff. While economic growth is not the main priority, gold coin hoarding does limit the money supply and then the parents run out of these coins to reward the kids. I guess at some point they have to print more money by buying a new sack of gold coins in order to inject some life into this little economy. We'll never know if they've printed more money because I'm sure the minutes to those meetings where Zara & Zryce set monetary policy are highly classified.

I find the entire gold coin alternate economy very amusing. I'm not sure what's the end game when the kids outgrow the system, but they each have a giant hoard of coins. Will Zara & Zryce retire the gold coin system, will they peg their gold coins to an actual currency and allow the kids to trade in their gold coins for cash? Will they peg to the US dollar or the Euro or maybe even the Indian Rupee? I also enjoy entertaining the idea of destroying the gold coin system from outside by devaluing the system and providing counterfeit gold coins. What if I bought my own sack of identical gold coins and started rewarding them willy nilly? How would Zara & Zryce "know" if the gold coins the kids have are legitimate or counterfeit? What if I donated coins by dropping them stealthily into the kids' mason jar banks? 

I have lots of great ideas, but I will never actually commit such economic atrocities because I myself would love to earn some gold coins for my good behavior. I wish Adam and I had a gold coin system. 5 gold coins for an extra dessert and 2 gold coins for three extra stories...that's an awesome deal! 

Adam's "Dickensian" childhood: Top 5

Adam has a very nice family and had a happy childhood, but there's always something...some inane injustice regarding X Y Z. I decided to collect a few of these stories from Adam's upbringing to [lovingly] illustrate/mock his "Dickensian" childhood.

#5 New Zealand Spinach

In the Zakun household, fresh organic leafy greens from the garden were often served at dinner and New Zealand Spinach was the BANE of the kid's dinnertime experience. Turns out, Adam's mom was the only person who liked New Zealand Spinach so Adam's dad finally "put his foot down" and staged a "coup" when he declared, "I'm NOT growing New Zealand Spinach" in our garden anymore. I don't like, the kids don't like it...you're the only one who likes it." Adam's dad's culinary heroics saved the children from torturous meals New Zealand Spinach.

#4 Don't Squish the Bread

Growing up, Adam's mom made homemade bread most days using their bread machine. Hot, fresh, crusty, soft homemade bread right out of the bread machine BEGGED to be sliced immediately, but cutting or "squishing" the hot bread was highly frowned upon in the Zakun household. Adam would risk parental disapproval and"squish" the homemade loaf anyways because homemade bread + mayo + BBQ sauce + parmesan cheese was his favorite afternoon snack concoction and totally worth it. Adam's mom recently said she'd bake him a hot loaf of bread the next time he was home and let him squish it to his heart's content.

#3 Caraway Seeds

Before there was a Whole Foods to provide abundant cheese counters to every gentrifying neighborhood, there was the Cheese Coop out of Berkeley. The family would gather with other local gourmands to place bulk orders for European cheeses a few times a year. Adam the cheese lover declared often "I've never met a cheese I didn't enjoy." That was until the day that the Zakun family received a large portion of this new cheese with caraway seeds. Adam despised this caraway seed cheese because he didn't like how it tasted, but more so because he could no longer declare with certainty "I've never met a cheese I didn't enjoy."

#2 Hard Rock Bagels

Cultural authenticity is highly valued by the Zakuns and it's a wonderful intellectually curious way to live. Authentic gelato, authentic Chinese and of course authentic bagels, NYC water bagels to be more precise. The only problem is that the Zakuns live in the Bay Area and back in the day, there was just one bakery in town to buy authentic water bagels. While authentic, the bagels were quite hard and difficult to slice without risking a trip to the emergency room. They also had a larger than average hole in the middle rendering them incapable of holding much filling in a bagel sandwich. Unauthentic bagels were not allowed in the Zakun household so Adam had to "suffer" by gnawing on hard rock bagels.

#1 No Cheese 

Did I mention that Adam loves cheese. Cheese is delicious, it comes in many forms and it even serves as a "binder" to structurally secure ones food together. Cheese is especially delicious on Mexican food except in Adam's case, the family frequently got take out from a Mexican restaurant that did not offer cheese...or so his parents claimed at the time. Adam never wanted Mexican take out from this restaurant because his tacos never had any cheese. When he asked for cheese, his parents said that the restaurant had NO CHEESE. Years and years later as an adult, Adam mentioned this no cheese available situation. 

Adam: Wasn't it weird that the Mexican restaurant didn't offer cheese? 

Parentals: What are you talking about? 

Adam: The restaurant didn't stock cheese, that's what you said.

Parentals: Hmmm, I don't remember that. They've always had cheese, you just never asked for it.

Adam: [muttering] But I did ask for cheese!!!!!

Thin Chocolate Chip Cookies - perfect for ice cream sandwiches

Now I don't want you all to have the impression that the only people I ever make fun of on this blog are Adam and plasticmom so I'm going mix it up today and reconstruct the following email conversation I had with my friend Zristen earlier this week.

Zristen: Everyone enjoyed the cookies!  Are there any more?  Zave only got one...
plasticann: I only gave you four cookies, one for each Zority. 
Zristen: HAHAHA!  I ate 2, kids ate slower than me so I guess they split one.  Zave wasn't happy because he wanted more!

If only Zvy and Zwan realized that mommy ate their cookie and made them share one, heads would roll. I baked another batch of the cookies today and I split the Zority's share into four bags. I can't trust that Zristen will distribute them accordingly so I labeled each person's bag and I'm posting the cookie quantities publicly to ensure some accountability. 

Zristen: 3 cookies
Zave: 3 cookies
Zvy: 1 cookie
Zwan: 1 cookie

Thin Chocolate Chip Cookies

It's from Barefoot Contessa and the thin cookies are perfect for ice cream sandwiches. Not too thick, not too hard, just thin and slightly crispy.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 pound unsalted butter, at room temperature
• 1 cup light brown sugar, packed
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 2 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 1/2 cups chopped walnuts
• 1 12 oz bag semisweet chocolate chips
• 2 shakes of cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Cream butter and two sugars until light and fluffy
3. Add vanilla and eggs, mix well
4. Add flour, baking soda and salt, mix
5. Mix in chocolate chips
6. Scoop batter using a medium cookie scoop or a tablespoon
7. Flatten dough a little
8. Bake around 10-15 minutes until brown 
9. Let cool for a few minutes on the pan
10. Move to cooling rack to fully cool

Cherry + Pear + Plum Clafouti

I had a random assortment of fruit that was just a smidge past ripe so I tried making this Clafouti recipe from Julia Childs.

Julia Child's Clafouti Recipe

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Cut up three cups of fruit into bite sized chunks: cherries, plums, pear, etc 
3. Blend the following in a blender
• 1.25 cups milk
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 3 ggs
• 1 Tablespoon vanilla
• 1 teaspoon almond extract
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup flour
4. In a baking dish (9x9 or 9 inch pie or 7x10), pour a thin layer of batter
5. Bake thin layer of batter for 7-10 minutes
6. Layer fruit over batter. 
7. Sprinkle 1/3 cup sugar over fruit
8. Pour remaining batter over fruit
9. Bake for 40-60 minutes until golden brown and a toothpick comes out clean when inserted
10. Serve warm for dessert or breakfast

This is honestly the first recipe I've tried so I'm not sure if it's "the best," but it's pretty delicious and it's easy. I'll have to check out some other recipes and see how they compare.

Cheddar + Spicy Watermelon Chutney Sandwich

Pret A Manger in the UK offers an awesome aged cheddar with chutney sandwich that is delicious. Sadly, they don't really offer the same sandwich in the US. I made a huge batch of spicy watermelon chutney last week and I now have a new way to enjoy this chutney thanks to my friend Zbigail who suggested that I pair the spicy watermelon chutney with a good cheddar cheese. She's a genius because I now have my own version of that cheddar chutney sandwich. 

Cheddar Chutney Sandwich

• Bread...don't forget that
• Field greens
• Spicy Watermelon Chutney
• Nice slices of a good aged Cheddar. I used Beecher's Flagship from Seattle.

Unveiling our updated guest room ...hoping to attract more visitors

Adam and I place a high value on hospitality and we really enjoy having overnight guests. We're constantly trying to sell friends, relatives, strangers on the benefits of our "free" accommodations:

• You get your very own room
• You even get your own bathroom
• We're only five minutes from the T
• We promise NOT to bother you
• We're not creepy...no really we aren't

We get a fair number of guests, but not as many as one would think for free accommodations in a pretty great location. Maybe we're selling it a little too hard or maybe we're weird and creepy and no one has the heart to tell us. We'll never know!

Recently, I went on a trip to Nashville with my friend Zara's family where we stayed in a vacation rental. It was very nice in a nondescript Restoration Hardware style. While I'd rather have more color and personality in my own home, I realized that for a vacation or a hotel or a guest room, I'd prefer neutral clean colors because it's way more peaceful. When I got back home, I was chagrinned at the state of our guest room. Our guest room was objectively comfortable in the basic sense, but it had devolved over the years as a place to store random crap in the closet, unused frames under the bed, a riot of mismatched sheets in the bureau and a collection of discarded furniture. It was comfortable enough, but I thought we could do better with a few updates.

First I decluttered the entire room and removed old furniture, old lamps, frames, sheets to beds we no longer owned, etc. It's amazing how much stuff exploded out of the nooks and crannies of this room. Then we added a few improvements thanks to our friend Zave who patiently spent two evenings at our house this week helping me put everything up. Thanks also to Zristen who lent us Zave while she watched their two adorably rambunctious kids.

The goal was to create more space, add more light, neutralize the colors and add more functionality to the room without adding too much clutter.

Headboard:
I've wanted to buy a headboard for this room for years, but couldn't figure out how to move one into our home. Either we'd have to haul it over the 2nd floor balcony and hope it made it up the stairs to the 3rd floor or I could move in tiny pieces of wood and build one on the third floor in the room. It always ended with me throwing my hands up and giving up.

Judging from the photo above you're probably thinking, "hmmm, looks like a headboard, what gives?" It's faux, it's a decal, it basically a giant sticker. A faux headboard decal comes in a poster tube, it's relatively inexpensive and certainly reversible. The Olivia Headboard from Blik comes in two giant pieces and it's a two man two hour job to get it applied correctly. Zave is a perfectionist and therefore the right person for the job. Like Zave said, "it's better to spend the time to get it right." Ain't that the truth because it looks pretty great.

Now a faux headboard is a little "out there" for Adam so he rightfully questioned the rationale:
Adam: Why a headboard?
plasticann: [indignantly] Well, it's not comfortable for our guests to lean against a wall. It's better to have a headboard.
Adam: Ummm, if it's a decal headboard, won't they STILL be leaning against a wall?
plasticann: [long pause] Harumphhh! Yes, but it looks better!!!

Lights:
The room only had overhead flood lights so it was rather dim at night. Plus, you have to turn off the lights at the door and then carefully shuffle back to bed in the dark. I wanted to add lighting to each side of the bed, but I didn't want to hire an electrician. I found this double sconce from Pottery Barn Teen that simply plugged in. Two lights, fully adjustable, easy peasy. On a related note, I did have to enter my age when I bought this sconce from PBTeen and verify that I was actually over the age of 13.

Nightstand / Writing Desk:
Our guest room had no nightstands. There were surfaces one could use to perch a phone or a pair of glasses, but nothing that resembled a nightstand. plasticmom also mentioned that our guest room had no desk. No where to put a computer, write a note, put stuff on, etc. Adding two nightstands and a desk all while keeping it "spacious" and "uncluttered" seem like a tall order so I had to be a little creative. I bought two metal wall mounted fold down desks like the ones you see on boats, doctor's offices and factory floors. We hung them at around 29 inches high for the table surface so it functions as a combination nightstand/desk that's just big enough for a laptop. I stuck a power strip on the side of one desk to keep it off the floor. Since the desk is metal, it's also magnetic.

Bonus improvements:

• Blackout shades so people can actually sleep past 6am now
• Luggage rack so you don't have to put your stuff on the floor
• Brand new white sheets
• ...and I hung some antlers to top it off...paper antlers of course. 

Our first guest arrives tomorrow night. I'll have to send him a NPS survey to get some feedback. 

Black Sesame Cold Noodles

We had the Zoritys over for dinner last night so I broke out the tub of Black Sesame Spread I bought from Costco in Taipei and made Black Sesame Cold Noodles with toppings for a refreshing summer dinner. Everyone had seconds, even Zwan the 1.5 year old. You know it's good when the kids keep eating it since they don't lie...yet.

Source: Costco in Taipei

From 12 o'clock: scallions, seaweed, red bell peppers, chicken, egg crepe and cucumbers

Black Sesame Noodles adapted from a Food Network Recipe

Recipe: Black Sesame Noodles (serves 6-8)

Noodles - blend the following ingredients into a sauce:

• 2 Tablespoons sesame oil
• 2-3 minced garlic cloves
• 1 inch grated fresh ginger
• 1/2 cup black sesame paste (or use 1/2 cup peanut butter)
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 2 Tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 Tablespoon rice vinegar
• 1/4-3/5 teaspoons red pepper flakes
• 1/4 cup water

Boil 1 pound Angel Hair Pasta or Spaghetti

Drain pasta, mix with black sesame sauce and cool. You can eat it warm, hot or cold so it's really up to you.

Toppings:

• Chicken
• Egg Crepe
• Cucumbers
• Seaweed
• Bell Peppers
• Scallions
• really anything you want

Costco: a little slice of America with a giant dash of Taiwan

One of my relatives mentioned going to Costco so I couldn't resist piping up to exclaim, "Costco, I love Costco, can I go to Costco?" Costco in Taipei pretty much feels like any Costco in America except this one was two floors, a small concession to its urban location. Same cavernous warehouse with pallets look and feel with a mix of American and Asian products tailored to the local tastes. 

You've got your bulk M&Ms vs. bulk Chinese candies and your bulk Skippy PB vs. giant jars of black sesame paste. I have a new theory that you can figure out what "authentic" foods the "locals" enjoy by going to a Costco. People only buy in bulk things they eat a lot of and Costco is only going to sell products that people want to buy. Based on this theory of mine, I can report on the following local food trends surmised from today's Costco trip.

Everyone loves Pandas and they love Panda cookies even more

Instant savory porridge is huge for breakfast. It's kinda like packets of instant oatmeal. They offer three different flavors of bulk instant porridge so they must turn over this SKU pretty quickly

BSS+J will be the next next thing among the playground set

Black Sesame Spread + Jelly

I bought a giant tub to bring home myself

[Costco's] Kirkland Signature offers Singapore Laksa, a curry noodle like dish. I wonder if the folks back in Kirkland, WA enjoy this dish in the Costco company cafeteria?

Chip aisle featured about 6 varieties of bulk chips, one of which was Lays Seaweed Potato Chips. I'm guessing that this product is hugely popular...why else would people buy five pound bags of this stuff

"Simple" Fancy Pants Meal

We usually prefer trying local foods when we travel, but we usually try to go out for one nice meal to shake things up so we checked out Restaurant Andre for lunch while we were in Singapore. We opted for the "simpler" daily lunch menu which was pretty involved so I'm not sure I could handle their full on evening menu that's about three times longer and three times more costly. It was definitely a little pretentious and I wasn't really into the snooty French server, but the food was mostly delicious and it was a nice civil respite from our daily street food crawls which typically have us inhaling snacks in the middle of the street and probably chewing with our mouths open.

The "simple" lunch menu

Snacking: fried sweet shrimp heads in cones

Tiny Baguette and Butter

Blue Lobster "Raviolis", Tomato-Rhubarb-Celary

Pineapple-Strawberry Sago Vinaigrette

Lemon Thyme Sorbet, Wild Greens

Wam Scallop Potato "Gnocchi"

Spring Asparagus Salad

Champignons, Bruxelles, Wild Herbs

Perigord Black Truffle Coulis

Warm Foie Gras Jelly

Fleur De Sel and Japanese Chive

This was "very very delicious"

I'm digging into my Warm Fois Gras Jelly while Adam patiently takes photos

Oyster Blad "A La Plancha"

Wild Greens Taboule and Pickles

Aromatic Oil, Roasted Onion Jus

Basically, it's beef. The Taboule was nice and had a little crunch from puffed rice

First extra dessert

Second extra dessert was ice cream with dehydrated crunchy berries

"Adam...can I please eat my dessert?"

Lemon "Blanc Manger" / Shaved Macadamia Nuts

Herb Juice and Pistachio Oil

Toasted Thunder Tea Ice-Cream

Not my favorite dessert. The two pre-desserts were actually better since I'm not really into eating grass soup for dessert