"Underwear is Everywhere, but mostly Underneath...." silly lyrics from the underwear song

This morning's WSJ middle column, "Fashion Emergency: How to Fix Downside of Low-Rise Pants...Darts and Shoestrings Help in Fight Against Gravity; Ms. Senter's Bending Tips." The "low rise" trend is the unspoken fashion (excuse my pun) pain in the a*# of our times. Everything is cut lower these days which is fine because I'm not exactly nostalgic for the days when waistbands came up to my rib cage and my belly felt horribly constricted, but it's getting a bit ridiculous. [I'm sure I'm violating the very spirit of "low rise" pants by citing as a benefit the ability to eat more without fear of feeling pants constriction due to the lower rise.] I don't deliberately purchase "low rise" apparel, but lower rises have become the norm and "low rise" is really really obscenely low. I recently purchased a pair of nice black pants for work and the rise was 50% of the rise on a pair of high waisted circa 1998 Khakis from my Goodwill pile. The fly on these black pants was like three inches and they weren't even hipster "my name is Britney and let's go clubbing" pants. What's a girl to do? The WSJ article had this funny bit about how significant others of "low rise" loving women are often most upset with the "accidental exposures" of unmentionables. One woman had to have a talking to with her boyfriend about how it was inappropriate for him to physically pull up her pants in public...now that's a laugh and a half.