Sihanouk Times

My favorite section of the Wall Street Journal is the "middle column" that appears in the middle of the front page. Today's edition of the WSJ delivers with a delightful, "In Cambodia, Source of Palace Gossip is Unusually High Up---King Sihanouk Dishes Dirt In a Monthly Bulletin; Q&A With Himself." King Sihanouk ascended to the throne in 1941, exiled twice, served as the Prime Minister and is now the figurehead monarch of Cambodia.

For decades, he's been a hands on type of manager for his "Monthly Documentation Bulletin" writing the articles, interviewing himself in Q&A columns, creating fictional pen names to write particularly hard hitting pieces, etc. He'll print menus, recipes, his medical ailments, cards he gets from his grandchildren, and he'll reprint articles from other publications and add his own sarcastic handwritten annotations. His Monthly Bulletin circulates at around 300 and is distributed free of charge to diplomats, journalists, scholars and other fans.

The man is part The Onion and part company newsletter. He should really publish on the Internet, I'm sure someone could set up a URL for the King of Cambodia. Better yet, he should write his own blog. The building I work in produces a similar monthly newsletter. I've always been partial to propaganda type newsletters so I look forward to reading the glossy one page rag each month. Our building newsletter contains little columns about how many trees we saved through our recycling program, fun events around town, and uncritically enthusiastic movie reviews. My favorite feature is called "Employee Profile of the Month:" usually featuring the newest member of the security staff. Most articles end with a peppy, "If you see John [from Texas], be sure to say 'Howdy!'"

Last summer when Nina was going to Germany on vacation, Kate and Carol created a mock newsletter featuring Nina as the employee of the month. They went to the building management office, which published the newsletter, got the file and created a profile on Nina. Here are some select quotes from Nina's profile:

"Some of her daily tasks include ensuring the security of data, educating the staff about obscure esoteric black black and white silent films...She enjoys vegetarian meals and frequents local establishments such as K2 and Darwin's...So if you see Nina in your travels at 4CC, say 'Hello' or 'Guten tag'!!"

In college, I used to read the newsletter published by food services called the "Stockpot." It was food services propaganda featuring articles on how the beef they served was really quality and what new theme dinners were in the works. My favorite was a Q&A section that answered inquisitive questions from students about compelling issues. The following is a reconstruction.

Q: Why can't we have chicken fingers everyday?
A: The Ratty is not currently equipped with sufficient fryolaters to serve chicken fingers daily. We are featuring this menu item more regularly due to positive student response. We will take your suggestions under consideration when we plan to upgrade the facilities of the Ratty. We may install more fryolaters in the future, which would enable us to serve chicken fingers more frequently.

I'd always aspired to be published in the Stockpot. I'd made it into three newspapers by the time I graduated, but the elusive Stockpot remained out of my reach.